Ritual Pornograph
by dead drifter
Summary: HidanDeidara/ HiDei. Yaoi. Oneshot. Deidara is hogging the bathroom, and Hidan decides to punish him for his insolence. Rated for graphic sex, blood, violence, and well, general Hidan-ness.


"**Ritual Pornograph" **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing. **

**A/N: I had NO idea what to call this. For some reason, the anime yaoi "Sensitive Pornograph" popped in my head, so I said…Ritual Pornograph. Well, **_**I'd**_** read something called that. So voila, I have a title! My first HiDei! Yay! I wanted it to be very brutal and bloody and almost rape, but I watched a sad AMV of SasoDei and it made me nearly cry (me and xcupidxstuntx) so I just decided that Dei had had enough pain. :'(**

* * *

Hidan was absolutely furious. He'd been waiting to use the bathroom for nearly a fucking hour. If that little blond bitch didn't come out in five minutes, Hidan was seriously going to kick the door down and castrate the suicidal little piece of dog shit. Finally, he heard the blow dryer turn off and the door knob click. As soon as the door was open, Hidan forced his way in. 

It was time for some punishment.

The silver haired priest pushed the door closed by leaning against it, smirking at the freshly washed blond. Deidara's blue eyes were wide.

"What are you doing, un? I'm done now, just let me out…"

Deidara reached out to grab the door handle, but Hidan caught his wrist.

"Uh uh…you are going to be punished for this, you bathroom hogging whore."

"Hey, un, don't touch me!" Deidara cried, trying to pull his arm free. Hidan simply tightened his hold. The priest grabbed Deidara's other hand and with lightning speed he switched their positions so that now Deidara was pushed up against the wall.

"You smell nice," Hidan hissed, leaning in to sniff Deidara's blond hair. Deidara struggled again, his hands balled into fists. The pale haired man laughed and forced those hands above Deidara's head. Hidan glanced at the hook jutting out of the door, and nipped hard at Deidara's nose.

"I'm going to fuck you while you're nailed to the door…that should appease Jashin-sama."

"What?! Oh no you are not, un! DAAANNAAAA! HEEEELP! UN!" Deidara screamed. Hidan bucked his hips into Deidara, and the blond gasped.

"Stop!"

"Keep begging me, Deidara," Hidan purred and positioned Deidara's hands above the hook in the door. It was normally a harmless thing, used to hold robes or cloaks, but Hidan has used it once before for something much like this. Only last time, it was used on Itachi.

Deidara screamed as Hidan suddenly forced the blond's hands onto the hook, impaling the mouths on his palms. There were gargling, choking sounds as the mouths gagged on the hook, blood and drool running in streams down Deidara's bare arms.

"Uuuun, oh my God!" Deidara whimpered, tears falling down his cheeks. Hidan, with his hands now free, pulled a kunai out of his cloak pocket and cut a red line across Deidara's face.

"No, NOT God. Jashin, you heathen cock sucker."

The blond was already shirtless, dressed only in pants, and Hidan took full advantage of that, his kunai trailing down the missing Rock nin's neck, his collar bone, down to trace along the outside of the fourth mouth on Deidara's chest.

"Hm…Kakuzu's work? You really are a whore, Deidara," Hidan chuckled, and started to sever the stitching keeping the mouth closed. Deidara tensed, struggling again, but the searing pain in his hands made him stop.

"Pleeeease, un. Don't."

Hidan paid no heed as he released the fourth mouth from its binding thread. It lolled its tongue out, drool oozing down Deidara's chest and tricking down into his pants. Hidan watched the movement with avid interest before looking back up to Deidara's face.

"Why do you keep it stitched up?"

Deidara glared at Hidan with heavy lidded eyes.

"It drools, un."

"Ah…" Hidan uttered, nodding his head. He then took his kunai and drove the point into Deidara's chest, making Deidara scream again. Blood poured out of the shallow wound, following the lines of drool. Hidan stuck the kunai in his mouth and sucked on it, his lips curving into a smirk as he watched Deidara glare at him, his blue eyes taking in the way Hidan's cheeks hollowed as he sucked.

"Hm, do you want me to do that to you, heathen whore?"

Deidara shook his head furiously.

"Fuck you, un!"

"Sh….in time. I have to seal the circle first."

With that, Hidan leaned away from Deidara and used the same Kunai he'd sucked off to stab himself in the side. He pushed the blade in to the hilt, and then he shuffled his feet around, marking a circle with the blood that pooled onto the ceramic tile. When the seal was complete, Hidan laughed into Deidara's face. His skin changed color, from pale flesh to striking black and white, his eyes pink and livid.

"You should be honored, heathen whore, that I am willing to share this holy rite with you. We will share our sex and our pain, and become one under the power of Jashin."

"You're crazy, un!"

Hidan replied by stabbing himself in the shoulder. Deidara screamed and blood gushed from his corresponding shoulder, dribbling into the open mouth on his chest. It licked the blood up greedily and waggled its tongue as if asking for more. Hidan shuddered as the tongue caressed Deidara's skin.

"Jashin…that mouth has a gift…"

Hidan pressed up tightly against Deidara, making sure to keep his feet in the circle, and the chest mouth slid its wet tongue along the skull-painted skin of Hidan's chest, the lips pursing together to pinch at his nipple. Hidan and Deidara both moaned at the sensation.

The priest bucked into Deidara's groin again, rubbing his now hard cock up against the blond, his hands raking along Deidara's sides, the one holding the kunai cutting into his flesh. Deidara and Hidan gasped and shivered at the heady mix of pain and pleasure. Hidan began to bite and suck on Deidara's neck, leaving a mark before letting go of the skin to travel higher. When he reached Deidara's jaw, he nipped at him, hard.

"Un, you're hurting me!" Deidara cried. Hidan ground his cock into Deidara and gasped at feeling the hardness in the blond's own pants.

"Your body says otherwise, whore."

Hidan slid his tongue across Deidara's lips, but Deidara shut them tight.

"Don't try to be cute. You want me to fuck you, Dei. Tell me you want me to fuck you, and I'll break the curse."

"N-no, un!"

"Tell. Me. You. Want. Me. To. Fuck. You."

"No, go fuck yourself, un!"

Hidan's pink eyes widened, his mouth curling into a smirk.

"Ah…I just might do that."

The priest quickly removed his pants and stroked the pulsing length of his cock. Deidara watched him do it, moaning and gasping, bucking his hips as Hidan's masturbation, via the strange curse, allowed Deidara to feel it too. Hidan grabbed onto the sink for support as he began to stroke faster, squeezing his cock, precum glistening at the head of it.

Deidara could feel Hidan's hands on him, he could feel the friction of Hidan's dry skin rubbing on his cock, the blood pounded in his ears, he could taste the blood in Hidan's mouth from cutting his tongue on the kunai he'd sucked, and the strange, intoxicating feeling overwhelmed him until he coudnt' think properly. His breathing became labored, syncing up with Hidan's breathy curses.

"Fuck…oh…oh fuck, yes….ah…ah…Jashin…"

"Un….un…Uuuuun….un…."

Deidara panted in unison with Hidan, and when the priest finally came, shooting his seed all over Deidara's face and body, Deidara came as well, leaving a sick wet spot on the front of his pants.

Hidan stumbled backwards a bit and collapsed onto the toilet seat. His skin reverted to its normal color, as he'd stepped out of the circle, the curse lifted. When Hidan looked up, he found Deidara staring at him, a soft smile on his lips.

"I have to take a shower again, un. You've got me all dirty…"

"I'm not done with you yet, you sack of chicken shit. Just…give me…a moment…"

"Un."

"HEY! Are you done screwing around in there? I have to take a shit!" Kisame bellowed from the other side of the door, pounding so hard on it that the whole door shook. Deidara, who was nailed to it, hissed in pain as the force made his hands throb.

Hidan winced and looked down at his own hands. They weren't harmed, but the brief connection he'd had with Deidara made his palms tingle with pain nonetheless.

"We'll be out in a sec, fish fuck! Don't drop your load of caviar on the floor again, either! That shit is hard to get out!"

The priest eyed the blond for a moment.

"Let's finish this in my bedroom. After I fuck you, we can both take a shower. Agreed?"

Deidara might have objected, but at that moment, the mouth on his chest decided to lick all around its lips, making Deidara shudder. He licked his own lips.

"Un…"

…

Hidan tossed Deidara over his shoulder and carried him, kicking and screaming mind you, all the way to his bedroom AKA sacrificial chamber. The priest unceremoniously threw Deidara onto his bed. He smirked down at the blond, his eyes focusing on the bulge in Deidara's pants. Deidara didn't fight as Hidan ripped his clothes from his body, his fingernails scraping along the skin as he did so.

"I'm going to fuck you until you beg for death, whore."

Deidara's blue eyes widened at those words and tried to get off the bed, but Hidan, who was already naked from the encounter in the bathroom, leapt onto the blond, holding his arms up over his head. The priest straddled Deidara, rubbing his stiffening cock up against Deidara's. I'm going to cut you…gut you like a fish…I'm going to drink your blood, whore. And you're going to love me for it."

"You're sick, un!"

Hidan reached over and grabbed yet another kunai that was lying on his nightstand. The silver haired man traced along the cuts he'd already made so that fresh blood would flow. Deidara shuddered at the feeling, his cock twitching. Hidan smirked and ground his hips into Deidara again. Hidan gripped both of their cocks with one hand and pressed them together, rocking his body into the man beneath him. His free hand carved into Deidara's skin, blood running down like hot, red tears.

"Un…"

Hidan continued to squeeze and pull at their cocks as he leaned down to lick along the cuts he'd made on Deidara's chest. He licked and nipped up to the blond's nipple and sunk his teeth into the hardening nub. Deidara arched his back and slid his hands down to Hidan's shoulders, the injured mouths on his palms slicking the priest's skin with pinkish drool. Hidan trailed his blood tainted lips up Deidara's neck and sought his mouth.

Deidara parted his lips willingly and when Hidan slipped his tongue inside, Deidara could taste his own blood as well as a hint of something salty. It was the distinct taste of Hidan's seed, and Deidara wanted more.

The blond cupped Hidan's face with his licking, slobbering hands and plunged his own tongue into Hidan's mouth, swirling it around, sucking on the blood tainted organ. Deidara moaned into Hidan, the vibration sending chills down Hidan's spine. The priest then snickered into Deidara's mouth and bit down, hard, on the blond's tongue.

Deidara whimpered in pain as Hidan sucked on the injured tongue, drinking in the blood flowing into his mouth. He pulled away to catch his breath, and Deidara glared at him, his eyes watering, blood dripping down his chin. Hidan leaned back in and licked the blood. Deidara tossed his head to the side, gritting his teeth and squinting his eyes shut.

"Haven't you had enough blood already, un?"

Hidan laughed and nipped harshly at Deidara's chin.

"I could bleed you dry," Hidan breathed, and tugged hard at Deidara's cock. Deidara jerked. He'd been so preoccupied wit the kiss that he'd almost forgotten about the attention Hidan had been giving him down below. But his cock cried out to be touched, and Hidan wasn't giving him enough of what he wanted.

"Please, un. Please, just fuck me…" Deidara whispered. Hidan's eyebrows flew up into his hairline.

"What was that, you whore?"

"FUCK ME! UN!" Deidara screamed, frustrated tears streaming out of his eyes, his hands nipping at Hidan's skin in meager attempts to urge the priest on. Hidan put his bloody lips to Deidara's ear and licked it, then tore at the ear lobe with his teeth.

"Are you sure?" Hidan taunted as he slid down, letting go of Deidara's ear. He grabbed Deidara's thighs and Deidara set his legs on Hidan's shoulders, as if knowing what to do. This made Hidan laugh.

"You really are a whore, aren't you? Too bad…I would have enjoyed taking a virgin."

Hidan's cock nudged at Deidara's leg, smearing his skin with precum. Hidan grabbed his kunai again and cut thin lines at the blond's inner thighs, blood trailing down his ass. Hidan tossed the kunai back on the bed and caressed the bloodied skin with his fingers, encircling Deidara's rim.

Deidara bucked and moaned. Hidan's smiled broadened as he pushed his middle finger into Deidara's entrance, curling his finger, prodding and searching for that special bundle of nerves that would send his whore over the edge. Deidara arched his hips upwards and cried out, and Hidan knew he'd stroked his prostrate.

Hidan added his index finger and hit the same spot again, sliding his fingers in and out. A third finger, and Deidara began to thrust in time to Hidan's fingers, his own tongue endowed hands slithering over his own body and pleasuring himself. Hidan stroked Deidara's prostate over and over again and the blond moaned and writhed beneath the priest, calling his name.

"Hidan….un…un…just fuck me, un!"

"Patience, whore."

Hidan worked Deidara into a frenzy until the blond couldn't take it anymore, he felt pressure building in him, his face burned, his mouths salivated, he culdn't breathe, he was suffocating. Deidara jerked, squeezing his own cock too hard, and he came, spending himself inside the awaiting mouth of his right hand. Hidan let Deidara's muscles squeeze around his fingers, feeling his cock twitch, aching to plunge into that tight heat.

"Hidan, Hidan, fuck me, oh _God_…un…" Deidara wept, though he was too strained from his orgasm to make much of an effort to convince Hidan to do that. The priest was more than ready, however. He slid his fingers out of Deidara and looked at the glistening blood on them. Without a word, he pressed the head of his cock against Deidara, holding the base of it with his blood stained fingers.

"Ah…you're so fucking tight for a whore, Blondie," Hidan hissed, forcing his cock into Deidara's entrance. Hidan thrusted roughly in and out, squeezing Deidara's thighs hard, leaving red fingerprints and purple bruises. Deidara grunted "un" with every thrust, his voice rising higher and higher in pitch as pressure built into him again. Hidan cursed at the blond, turning his head to the side and biting at Deidara's leg as it clung tightly to his shoulder.

"Fucking….oh…oh slut…heathen son of a…ah…hah…cheap….whore…" Hidan murmured against Deidara's knee, biting at his skin again as he fucked the blond senseless, sweat now pouring from his face. Hidan slowed then, concentrating on going deeper, of hitting that bundle of nerves again. He hit it, and Deidara gasped as the pang of pleasure shot though him. Hidan hit the spot a few more times with careful, hard thrusts, and then he pulled all the way out. Deidara's blue eyes flew open.

"What are you doing?! Don't stop, uuuuuun!" Deidara whined, squeezing his legs so tight around Hidan's neck he was cutting off his air.

"Don't fucking choke me, bitch!" Hidan howled, and grabbed Deidara by his hair. Deidara winced in pain. With a snarl, Hidan flipped Deidara over, forced his ass up in the air, and pounded into him again, the new position sending Deidara quickly over the edge.

"Uuuun!" Deidara screamed, cumming all over Hidan's bed, gripping the stained sheets in his fists. Hidan thrust a little longer, riding the wave of pleasure at being constricted by the slick, searing heat of Deidara's body. Finally, Hidan came too with a loud "FUUUUUUCK!" yanking hard on Deidara's hair as he spent himself deep inside. Shaking and slick with blood, sweat and cum, the two collapsed, Hidan's labored breathing hot on Deidara's neck.

There was a hard rap at the door, and a deep, growling voice called through it.

"We're leaving in an hour. Get your albino ass out here," Kakuzu snarled. Hidan managed to waggle his middle finger at the door before he fell asleep, crushing a half dazed Deidara with his weight.

---

End!


End file.
